In the spirit of the upcoming Valentine’s Day, we are sharing some easy ways you can show those you love how much you care. These tips work with your fiance, spouse, family, bridal party and all those you care about. As you plan your wedding, these tricks can be invaluable to remaining friends after the wedding and developing deeper relationships.
Show the love – everyday. In every encounter, you have the opportunity to make the other person feel valued, loved and respected. Here are some ways you can do just that:
The Golden Rule. Sure we learned to treat others as we want to be treated as kids. But as adults, it goes beyond sharing the best toys. Being on time to events, being involved in the other person’s life, showing genuine interest, keeping confidences and treating with respect is what it looks like for adults.
Understand what the other person needs. Before you get annoyed with the bridesmaid that isn’t helping, ask yourself if you’ve explained the duties of a bridal party member. Is your groom not helping, or have you not given himtasks that grooms enjoy? Be mindful that you are giving each person what they need from you as well.
Be supportive. You have a lot going on when you are planning a wedding, but that doesn’t give you excuse to tune out. Have a friend going through tough times, be the shoulder they are used to. Before telling someone what they need to do – ask if they just need to talk or want help. Sometimes all you need to do is be a friend.”
Keep traditions. Whether its Friday night date night as a couple, game night with friends, monthly girls night or guys basketball, or Sunday family dinners, traditions are what allows us to keep the bonds made over time. It’s important to have time as a couple, but also important to stay in contact with those who have been in your life. Missing these events can send a signal to others that you aren’t as interested in them and can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
Mix with care. Just like your wedding reception seating plans, the mix of friends is a delicate one. The longtime friend can be jealous of the new friend – remember Bridesmaids! Just because you love them all, doesn’t mean they will mix well. If you sense tension, it may not be the right mix.
Keep in touch. Are you one to send personal cards, make calls for no reason or send quick texts to make someone laugh? If you’re known for these things, try to keep it up. Those individual efforts mean a lot to the receiver.
Address what needs it. And we’re not talking about invitations! If there is an issue that is causing friction, it’s time to talk it out. Misunderstandings left unresolved tend to grow over time.
Offer grace. Being sympathetic, supportive and trying to see the world from the other’s eyes is a good practice as you head into your marriage. Apologize when you have caused others pain.
Frame it well. Wedding planning can bring out the best – or most annoying – traits in those you love. Instead of focusing on things that drive people apart, focus on what made them important to begin with.
Watch your words. Words have real power. When you define someone as a “know-it-all”, “drama queen”, “lazy”, etc. you are framing your interactions with them – and others opinion. Try to focus on the positive attributes of others.
Find common ground. When differences turn nasty, pause and find common goals, values and bonds with the other and rebuild from there.
Recognize the small stuff. It’s easy to get worked up over the details – andweddings have lots of details. When it’s something worth fighting over, stand your ground but do so with love. Unless the other person is intentionally sabotaging you (and who would do that?!), it’s just a difference of opinion. Try to remember that.
Be real. With email, texting, Facebook, how much of your communication is still face to face, or at least by voice? You may think you’re staying in touch, but are you? Here’s a way to keep the human element in your interactions.
Not everything is newsfeed worthy. With Facebook changing the rules for what shows in a newsfeed regularly, you can’t assume friends will see what’s going on in your life. For truly important news, you should reach out directly. Not only will you be sure the person knows it, they’ll feel valued by the personal attention.
Be present. Is there anything better than a real visit to catch up with friends. Schedule to busy to meet for lunch? Try scheduling a weekly phone call.
Respond promptly. When someone sends you an invitation, let them know you are excited to be included. When you get an email or text, respond in kind. Use technology as the quick tools they are meant to be.
How can we help with your wedding? Email us or call 248-689-0777
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