What You Need To Know: The First Dance

There is nothing that strikes fear in the heart of most grooms and some brides than the very thought of the first dance. All eyes are on the two of you alone in the middle of a big room. You don’t have to be worthy of “Dancing With the Stars” to nail the first dance! So, what can you do to take the pressure off? Here are a few ideas:

Keep it simple. Do something that both of you feel comfortable with. If its just a slow shuffle around so be it. Or…..

Take a couple of dance lessons. Group lessons can be intimidating, but private lessons remove the pressure of dancing for an audience. Your instructor will teach you according to your ability level. With private instruction, beginners can quickly master the basics with confidence. Dancing, like music, lifts the spirit and is so much more enjoyable when shared with your significant other.

Keep it short. Select a song you both love and one that keeps an easy beat, especially if you’re beginning dancers. When your song lasts longer than the usual three minutes, ask your DJ to fade the ending. Remember: frazzled dancers don’t dazzle.

Learn a couple of exciting steps. A pre-planned (choreographed) dip or a twirl makes a splashy statement without the tricky toe work of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. These moves are not only easy, but they offer impressive photo opportunities for still shots and videographers. When you look at them in the future, your photos will take you back to these moments with pride and a satisfied chuckle.

Plan your entrance and your exit. Will you clasp hands and kiss before you begin your dance? Will you sashay in from the left and leave to the right? Whatever you decide, be sure to tell your camera operators where and in what direction you will start and finish your dance, as well as any choreographed moves you plan to make. That way, they can prepare to capture the moment in its best light and with the correct angle.

Decide who leads and who follows. Gender no longer has anything to do with your decision. Choose the pattern that makes you comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with following a simple lead. The object of dancing is to enjoy the dance! Being able to follow the leader creates confidence in the follower and makes a more pleasurable dance for the leader, too. If you’re feeling brave and brassy, create a dance that switches leads once or twice during the routine.

Practice, practice, practice. Practice on a busy dance floor in a public place. You can also practice at home, of course, (preferably in front of a large, floor-length mirror), but you also need the experience of dancing in front of an audience. Practice your routine at least a couple of times per week, for several weeks, until your feet seem to move without much help from your mind. Concentrate on having fun during your first dance, and your guests will jump to join you on the dance floor.

Relax! The people watching are on your side even if they kid you.

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The First Look, The Reveal, First sight. Regardless of the terminology, more couples are choosing to meet in private before the ceremony, allowing for some beautiful and intimate photographs and videography to be captured. It can be a private event for the couple or shared with close friends and family. This time is a low pressure, yet highly emotional, way to spend a few special moments as a couple before walking down the aisle. If your wedding day timeline is tight a first look session can allow you to create amazing images, without sacrificing time with your guests.

The tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the ceremony dates back to the times of arranged marriages. There was a fear that the groom would meet the bride and be displeased, thus backing out of the agreement. Those days are long gone, but the tradition remains. Some brides and grooms carry on the tradition in favor of “the big moment” when the bride walks down the aisle. Couples who choose to do the first look session realize that there will still be a “big moment” when the guests see the bride and the emotion of meeting the groom at the end of the aisle for your ceremony will still exist.

Another advantage to the first look session is no restrictions on the placement of the photographer and videographer. Some churches limit shooting locations, making it more difficult to get images of the bride or groom’s face during the processional. A first look session can take place at the location of your choice, allowing the photographer and videographer to position themselves to get the best images of this event. Your photographer and videographer can create the environment for this special moment and then allow it to unfold naturally. This gives you the private time to exchange looks and words without interference and direction. After you have a few private moments, you can capture additional images for your wedding album and video.

Most often, the groom is positioned so that his back is to his bride. Your photographer and videographer can then capture your approach to the groom and the moment when he gets the first look. Another twist is to have the bride positioned on one side of a door way and open the doors for the reveal. Some couples opt to keep the first look at the ceremony location by positioning the groom at the end of the aisle with his back to the bride as she approaches. If you wish to involve close family or friends, they can be seated in the pews for this approach.

Regardless of which approach you take, the first time you see each other on your wedding day will be amazing!

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Ceremony Music

The music used for your ceremony helps to set the stage long before you walk down the aisle. You will likely choose music for the prelude, pre-processional, processional, bride’s processional, lighting of the unity candle and recessional. Below are some tips for each.

Prelude

Guests are greeting one another and finding their seats to watch your ceremony. Anticipation fills the air. Music used during this time will help to set the scene for the ceremony to come. Popular traditional choices for this time would be “Air On The G String” by Bach or “Air” by Handel. More modern choice would be gentle jazz or acoustic songs.

Pre-processional

Honored guests and family members are seated during the pre-processional, including the groom’s parents and bride’s mother. This is generally a solemn, emotional moment as they spend the final moments with their unmarried children. Popular traditional choices include “Adagio from Sonata in E-Flat” by Mozart and “Prelude To The Afternoon of a Faun” by Debussy. You could also use an instrumental version of a movie soundtrack or another light song of your choice.

Processional

The anticipation of seeing the bride will continue to rise as your bridal party walks down the aisle. Choose a song that has a nice tempo for the bridal party to walk to. Traditional choices include and “To A Wild Rose” by MacDowell. If you have selected more modern choices, consider transitioning here if you want a more traditional bride’s processional.

Bride’s Processional

This is your moment to shine! All eyes will be on you for your walk down the aisle. Traditional choices are often feature grand, dramatic notes for this iconic wedding moment. Popular traditional choices include “Bridal Chorus” by Wagner and “Trumpet Voluntary” by Jeremiah Clark. A modern choice would be to use a song that has special meaning to you and your father as he gives you away. Another option is to choose a song that you enjoy as a couple – it can even be your first dance song!

Lighting of the Unity Candle

Music here is completely optional and many choose to forego it completely. If you choose to use music you will not need a very long piece of music.

Recessional

Congratulations, you’re married! The recessional music will play as you walk down the aisle smiling at your guests. The music used here is usually full of energy and happiness. The most popular traditional song is “Wedding March” by Mendelssohn. Many couples elect to stamp their own personality and play a recognizable song like “Superman’s Theme” or “The Imperial March”. If you want to signal the fun to come at the reception, you can even choose to “Party Rock” your way from the ceremony.

During most of the above times, you will likely not hear the songs in their entirety. You music coordinator or DJ should be able to fade in and out of the songs in particular areas as needed. If you are interested in a traditional spin on modern music, consider artists like Vitamin String Quartet, Jim Brickman, or David Garrett.

Important Reminder: Check with your ceremony site and officiant before selecting the music for your ceremony. Some churches have strict rules about what can and can not be used when it comes to secular music. If you are having an outdoor ceremony, power requirements and volume levels will need to be considered.

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Wedding Trend: Eco Weddings

One of the coolest trends in weddings continues to be a green eco-friendly event. Here’s some ideas to go green and maybe save some green too.

One venue. Having your ceremony and reception at the same location eliminates the need for all of your guests to drive to multiple locations, reducing the fuel used. If your ceremony takes place outside, that’s even better since you won’t use artificial lighting, heating or cooling.

Green centerpieces. Consider using potted plants for your centerpieces. Mixing plants of varying heights and colors add visual interest and can be planted in your new home. Mini roses or mums can also be used and replanted.

Seasonal, local flowers. If you have your heart set on fresh cut flowers, work with your florist to create bouquets of local, seasonal flowers, reducing the transportation of exotic blooms. When the event is over, consider donating the flowers to a senior center or hospital.

Use recycled paper. The list of wedding stationary is quite extensive. Invitations, wedding programs, menus, place cards and more. Look for ways to reduce your usage and insist on recycled paper where you can.

Use less paper. Consider digital save the dates, a table board instead of seating cards and forego menus at the plate. You’ll reduce paper consumption – and cost.

Look for online proofing. Choose a photographer that offers online proofing rather than printing proofs and requiring you to pick them up. You’ll save time, gas, money and printing unnecessary images.

Add candlelight. Candlelight creates a romantic feel and reduces overhead lighting. Soy candles are best as they are energy efficient and clean burning.

Choose organic foods. Work with your caterer to choose locally grown, organic menu items. Organic foods do not use pesticides so they are great for the environment and your guests. Ask your caterer to work with a local feeding program that distributes leftover food so there is no waste.

Green guest favors. Give potted plants, canvas totes or make a donation in your guests honor.

Hire locally. When you work with a local business you reduce driving, shipping costs and reinvest in your community.

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Kid Friendly Receptions

If you choose to invite children to your reception, here’s some ideas to make the event fun for them too.

Milk and cookie bar. Milk and cookies make everyone smile. Consider having a milk and cookie bar for your dessert. You can have white, chocolate and strawberry milk and a variety of cookies for dunking.

Signature “kid” drinks. Remember when you thought a “shirley temple” was a special treat. Ask your venue to offer kid friendly drinks, but be sure they are presented in a different glass to avoid confusion!

Coloring books and crayons. Any family friendly restaurant knows that occupied children make for more enjoyable dining. Consider presenting your younger guests with coloring books and crayons as a guest favor. Mom and Dad will thank you for your thoughtfulness!

“Kid” table. Conversation at the adult table during long dinner service can get pretty boring for a nine-year-old. When creating your seating arrangement, consider putting older children at a table in the middle of their parents. They’ll have a fun time interacting with kids their age while mom and dad talk to adults.

Finger food. While the audits will appreciate filet for dinner, children would be just as happy with chicken fingers. See if your caterer has kid friendly options – this could also be budget friendly.

Planning A Budget

Planning a budget for the wedding is one of the first tasks engaged couples need to complete. Here’s some advice on how to get started.

Who’s Got the Money? While the bride’s parents traditionally paid for the wedding costs, this is less common now. Most couples contribute to their wedding and both families assist if able. Have an honest conversation with both families to see what they are willing to contribute so that you’ll have a starting point to build from. Discuss what level of decision making they think their “gift” buys them.

How Much Does It Cost? Once you know how much money you are working with, it’s time to start dividing the pot. Think about what services, vendors and items you must have, or would like to have, and how much you need to allocate for each. This is a great time to prioritize your wish list. If you want extensive floral arrangements, you might need to consider less guest favors.

Where Is That Spreadsheet? Now that you know how much money you have, and how much you have mentally spent, it’s time to start planning and tracking the budget. If you’re lucky enough to have a full wedding account, consider stretching it further by putting it into an interest earning account. Just make sure it’s easily accessible as you begin to make deposits.

If you’ll be charging your wedding purchases, look for credit cards that offer points or airline miles that you can use for your honeymoon flights.

We Spent WHAT?! Regularly review your wedding budget with your fiance so that you are both on the same page. This is a great practice to get into as you start building budgets for your household too!

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